English posts,  Writing

Depression pt.2

Lately I’ve been on a ride
Kind of how a rollercoaster feels like
I got up so high I thought I could fly away
Then dropped so low I though I might not see the end of day

And I sat in between
Watching things I thought can’t be seen
Like my life was a movie out of control
I was reduced to play a minor role
Of a driver not able to arrive
At her own life

I got pushed like a ship in a storm
My skin ripped and torn
My feelings crashing over me like waves
And that state went on for days

When I finally thought I had my feet on the ground
The world just turned upside down
And what I thought I knew
Just fell through

I lay breathless on the bathroom floor
Crying not knowing any more
How I could get myself out of this
And how I even came to sit in this mess

I was choking on all the anger I’d swallowed
On the inside I felt empty and hollowed
And the only thing I could do was stare at the white wall
Trying to breath, that was all

And I felt so alone
Freezing to the bone
I longed for a warm hug
But I just got tickled by the fringes of the bathroom rug

There was no on that I could call
Or at least they would not understand me at all
Trying to explain how I felt
Would be more exhausting than it would help

I got so dizzy of all the events
No more clue what it all meant

But maybe that was the goal
Summoned by my own soul

To realize that what I thought was true
Was just what I was told to do
And who I believed I am
Was an infiltrated scam

Now from the bottom I can work my way up
Dropping whatever baggage I’ve got
Only taking with me what I really need
To live the life that I want to lead

So once more the darkness was not so bad at all
Just a very rough wake up call
But now that I am awake
I see it was all for my own sake

©mywritingtherapy

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